At an ecumenical gathering, an Orthodox Christian, a Catholic, and an Episcopalian were standing in a large room that had a burnt out light in the ceiling above. The director of the gathering came into the room and asked the three if they could get the light bulb changed. The Episcopalian said: “Well, we can form a committee, study the issue for 10-15 years, publish a communique, and get it changed then.” The Catholic said: “Well, what we can do is send the information to the Vatican, where a papal body will investigate the claims made of the need to change this light bulb, and after about 500-600 years, the Pope will call an Ecumenical Council and ask the Bishops of the Church to vote on the findings. If it gets that far, the light bulb will be changed.” The Orthodox, looking a bit befuddled, said: “What is this ... ‘change?’”
Kathleen Schultz Heard: it as “How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb?”----same punch line.
Colin Leach: Alternatively for the Orthodox: “The Orthodox changed the light bulb, but only after consulting the Venerable Barsanophius of the Holy Mountain and discovering that patristic tradition says it is permissible to change lights at all other times except during Great Lent, Advent, and the Apostles’ Fast.”
Kate Nolan: In the meantime, a nun just changed the bulb and moved on to other work.
David Cheung: Being Orthodox, I find that funny. erhrm...IS AN OUTRAGE!!!
Paula Trietsch Chaney: And along came a United Methodist who recognized the darkness, changed the light bulb and provided light for all.
Caitlin ‘Cake’ Gateaux: And the Charismatic changed the bulb since his hands were already up there any way.
Lauren Leach-Steffens: I’m a Quaker, and we didn’t notice that the bulb was burned out, because we sat in a circle and focused on the Inner Light.
Donna Stephens: Meanwhile, the Unitarian Universalists had an evening discussion group on whether there was a way to find out if the light bulb wanted to be changed, if change was possible, if change would actually be a good thing, and finally decided that the matter was pressing enough that they held a vote and their congregation unanimously resolved that it would only buy fair trade coffee in future.
Laura Boustani: Oh....I just saw Donna’s post. Right on the money! Well, and once they decide to make the change, they’d change ALL the light bulbs to make sure all light bulbs are treated equally.
Renee L. Orth: You all forgot about the Methodist potluck right after to celebrate the changing of the bulb!
Jerod J Husvar: The Zen Buddhist sat and contemplated the need for light. The agnostic decided that there might be a bulb to change, but couldn’t pick one.
Kevin J. Rice: The Unitarian wanders into the room and overhears this. He leaves, drives his Prius to the hardware store, buys an LED bulb, comes back and replaces the Bulb, knowing that you must be the change you want to see in the world. He then invites them over to a pot luck with some Jews and Buddhists so they can talk starting a neighborhood soup kitchen.
Sue Tathwell Wille: Also forgot the Presbyterians standing by to make sure it’s all done Decently and in Order.
The Christian Left: Renee, The Lutherans will bring a Jell-O sculpture to the potluck. ;)
Kevin Stohlman: AND beer.
Floyd Miller: The Amish man asked, “What’s a light bulb?”
Charles Vladimir Fee: Potluck? OM NOM NOM NOM.
Marty Veltkamp: We always joke about the Christian Reformed elders wondering what “change” was, too!
Marty Veltkamp: Hilarious! This is the best post you guys have done yet! We desperately need to laugh at ourselves.
Aunt Meldy: Why wasn’t an Independent Catholic invited?
Steve Fay Old: Mayor Daily, a priest, and a rabbi were adrift in a lifeboat way out in the middle of Lake Michigan. They had so little food left that they came to realize that all three would starve before either another craft found them or they drifted to shore, if they shared it, but that one might live, if the other two of them volunteered to swim away and let the Lord’s will be done. So they decided to take a vote on who should remain in the boat. A stub of pencil was found, and a slip of paper was torn in three. And when the votes were counted, Mayor Daily won: 15-1-1.
Terrie Huff Warren: and an evangelical would have passed laws against the evils of electricity - the Devil’s Magic!
Matt Donnell: Very good! But let’s not beat around the bush here. Change “Orthodox” to” Evangelical”, and then it will be understood by even - well, the Evangelicals!
Cindy Tony: As an orthodox Christian...that was a good one :)
Jennifer McNulty: Then Jesus showed up and said “ I am the light! Start the Feast of Cana! Or the potluck, whatever ya got goin’ on...”
Charles Williams: must be with the Orthodox, then. the line here is ‘how many Vermonters does it take to change a light bulb? four. one to change the bulb and three to sit around and talk about how good the old one was.’
Cory M. Warren: you forgot the fundamentalist, who blamed the bulb burning on gays and women working outside the house.
Kevin J. Rice: ... and then a Hindu showed up, knew that Divali was coming up, and replaced the light fixture with a massive candelabra of all different color bulbs.
Marian L Shatto: Moravians would ask our Archivist to check what Zinzendorf and Spangenburg might have said about it. Receiving an affirmation of the process, we would then submit a written request to the Board of Trustees to be forwarded to the head sexton, who would assign one of his assistants to complete the task, after which the pastor would write a 15 verse hymn about the new light and we would celebrate with a Love feast.
Hugh Elwood: And the Baptist said, “Nope! Changin’ a light bulb looks too much like dancin’!”
Kate Cabot: As an Episcopalian, I would differ on this. Our church would have had a pot luck to get a work crew together, followed by a “Blue Jeans Sunday” where the work crew would all have discussed changing the light bulb, followed by an hour and a half spent looking for the big ladder that the sexton used the last time but then put away in another part of the basement after the fall fair-- eventually the rector would change the light bulb anyway, cause he’s the only one who knew where the ladder was.
Keith Oatman: and the progressive Christian asked where the stepladder and fresh light bulbs were.
Susan Kelly Caldwell: The Unitarian Universalist version I heard has the light bulb issue passing through a number of committees and covenant groups, including the RE Committee, who want safe, sufficient lighting for the children, the pagan group, who prefer the natural light, the Green Sanctuary committee who do a study of light bulb energy efficiency. Finally the Light Bulb Issue becomes the topic of a congregation-wide small-group visioning process, and at some point during all of it, a renter changes the bulb.
Susan Kelly Caldwell: Oh, and one morning, a Catholic priest and a Buddhist monk were having breakfast together. The priest suddenly looked into the tub of heart-healthy butter substitute and said, “God be praised! I see the face of Jesus!” The monk looked into the tub and said, “I can’t believe it’s not Buddha!” Ba-DUMP-bump!
Lynne Cole: As one who grew up Episcopalian, went to Catholic school and wound up Methodist in the reddest of the Bible Belt red states, let me say ... BAAAHAAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAA!
Robert J. White: As an Episcopalian, I must agree with Kate, though at my parish we would most certainly involve any number of frosty malt beverages, at which point someone would forget where the light bulb went to, then the senior warden would change the whole light fixture....
Chef Lee Panache: My Episcopalian pastor used to joke that our emergency fire instructions were to “form a grand procession and march out.”
Joyce Sheldon McKnight: And the Mennonite pulled a light bulb out of his toolkit, reached up and changed it!
Ellen Harvischak: Thank- you Lord that it wasn’t a Polish joke this time!! :)
Anne Dachel Risen: But how many Lutherans would it take to change the light fixture? ten! one to change it, and 9 to stand and shake their head saying that the old one was good enough and would have worked just fine.
The Christian Left: Michele Bachmann would write a Bill to forbid the impediment of her freedom to make the choice of whether or not to change the light bulb at all!
About TCL Blog
We’re not about Dogma here. We’re just Christians who think the political and Christian right-wing have their priorities wrong.
Charles Toy is the founding member of The Christian Left. We're sure you will enjoy his passion as well as his wit. Guest bloggers featured often.